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Always on my Mind

by Brain Weasels

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1.
I went to therapy today in the clothes that I slept in Tried to keep the darkness away, but it still crept in I did my best to keep these thoughts from bringing me down Like what'll I do when Mom and Dad are no longer around? Went to work today without my cigarettes With nothing to distract me from what hasn't happened yet I did my best to keep these morbid thoughts at bay Like what'll I do when my cat passes away? Tell me what the future holds Just growing up and getting old Is this the lie we're sold? And I'm walking on a line between being a mess and being fine 'Cause I'm running out of time Went to the bar today without my credit card Just to keep me from going too far I still spilled my guts to everybody there But it doesn't matter, no one cared Tell me what the future holds Just growing up and getting old Is this the lie we're sold And I'm walking on a line between being dead and being fine 'Cause I'm running out of time Someone show me how to cope I'm at the end of my rope But I've got a thread of hope Fold my hands and shut my eyes Lift my head up towards the sky Scream what'll happen when I die? Ready, set, go! Ready, set, go! Ready, set, go! Ready, set, go! Tell me something I don't know Tell me where I'm gonna go Ready, aim, fire! Ready, aim, fire! Ready, aim, fire! Ready, aim, fire! If I'm lucky, I'll retire Tell me where we're gonna go Running out of time, Running out of time, Running out of time, Running out of time, The future's always on my mind But I need you by my side The future's always on my mind What'll happen when I die? The future's always on my mind But I need you by my side And you are always on my mind
2.
Keepin' it together with a clever disguise Of a kintsugi mask with golden eyes Ask Oedipus why we choose to be blind There's a capitalistic entropy that feeds our demise Will no one listen? It's a sleeper's delight To just turn up the volume and drive Through the warning signs Keepin' it together at a fast-paced rate Where you'd think I'd be speakin' tongues from outer space There's an existential longing in your static eyes It's a window to truth, where your aesthetic lies Cause it says no worries, gotta keep it in time With the Hakuna Matata line But we ain't alright Well, C'est la vie, a mon ami I'll take my leave When all the armored archetypes reveal the tricks up their sleeves To make us think in a brand new light so that we aren't what we seem This message of our generation's in a bottle sent ahead of its time We're tossing a moltov cocktail up yeah, say it's from me We'll keep it together with a clever disguise Of a stage and a smile and a witty/waiting line Last call for surrogate jaded smiles 'Cause keepin' up appearances just ain't my style I prefer the suspension of a vintage adieu And the sad melodic blues of an unsequestered muse
3.
I took my meds but they haven't kicked in yet I made my bed but I haven't left it I gotta hangover the size of a fighter jet And I'll drink again to forget it I am forever a work in progress Not always getting better but I do my best Because you never know when something might come 'round And put your whole damn life to the test Slow down and take it easy You don't know what you're doing Just settle down now And find your stable ground To be blunt I never thought I'd get this far Because I never really set a bar But now I'm giving it my all and I won't stop until I have no gas in the car I am forever a work in progress But what that even means is anyone's guess Because eventually you're gonna trip up And you might make a mess of it Slow down and take it easy You don't know what you're doing Just settle down now And find your stable ground I am forever a work in progress Not always getting better but I do my best Because you never know when something might come round And put you to the test I am forever a work in progress I am forever a work in progress I am forever a work in progress I am forever a work in progress
4.
Wool Eyes 03:34
Let's take it back to where it all began In the back of my mind lives a little white house Filled with artifacts of bleeding hearts damned Well, that look that you gave me I must have misread My story drones on and you're gone But it's not the end You're just another one of my kind You're the rarest form of common Keep telling myself that there'll never be another like them But then I see a new pair of eyes Pull the wool over mine And I'm off again Some of us feel it so much Where each one is the one that I've truly lost count Used my fingers, my toes and my teeth And I'm starting to believe You're just another one of my kind You're just another one of my kind You're the rarest form of common And I keep telling myself that there'll never be another like them But then I see a new pair of eyes Pull the wool over mine And I'm off again Swiftly the years have gone by And with each passing hour I fall for another Maybe I've just learned to love life But maybe it'll work this time Maybe it'll work this time You're just another one of my kind You're the rarest form of common And I keep telling myself that there'll never be another like them But then I see a new pair of eyes Pull the wool over mine And I'm off again You're just another one of my kind You're the rarest form of common And I keep kidding myself that there'll never be another like you Then I look in your starry eyes pull the wool over mine And I'm off again
5.
Happy Song 03:08
Gonna take a shower Gonna shampoo my hair twice And when I make my lunch Not even use the instant rice Gonna toss the moldy dishes Gonna dust off all my wishes Gonna paint a lipstick smile on my face Sing a happy song Even when I feel like shit You can sing along while we fake it Sing a happy song When it's inappropriate You can sing along 'til we make it Hands out grasping wildly for my future that awaits Don't mean to follow blindly But I have to take the bait I'll keep on living 'til it kills me Keep on loving 'til it heals me And even I can't stop me Even I can't stop me Sing a happy song Even when I feel like shit You can sing along while we fake it Sing a happy song When it's inappropriate You can sing along 'til we make it Gonna care for myself if it kills me But my mind is too fast for this body Gonna care for myself, can you hear me? Just cause you can't see it, doesn't mean that it's nothing Sing a happy song Even when I feel like shit You can sing along while we fake it Sing a happy song When it's inappropriate You can sing along 'til we make it Sing a happy song, even when I feel like shit You can sing along while we fake it Sing a happy song when it's inappropriate You can sing along while we fake it 'Til we make it
6.
Calm Down 03:36
One, two, three, four! It was two a.m. when the walls caved in I had a dream where I couldn't win And chased it down with half-priced gin Turned on the lights and locked the doors Buckled down and hit the floor Until I couldn't dream anymore Tuned in, turned off, big dream, small start Thank God for the holes in my heart They let me breathe and keep me from falling apart 'Cause it's got me good and gone Tuned in, turned off, turned up too long 'Cause everything I do is wrong Breathe in, breathe out, Let it go now I can't calm down now 'cause you told me to calm down Cause I overthink And I never blink And I'm forgetting how to breathe I can't calm down now 'cause you told me to calm down All that I can do is ride it out No one wants to see their therapist cry And no one wants to watch somebody die But all these things they are always on my mind Breathe in, breathe out, but not too loud 'Cause if they hear then they'll figure out That all these things they are always on my mind Breathe in, breathe out, Let it go now I can't calm down now 'cause you told me to calm down Cause I overthink And I never blink And I'm forgetting how to breathe I can't calm down now 'cause you told me to calm down All that I can do is ride it out Get me out of my mind (Breathe in, breathe out) Get me out of my mind (Let it go now) Get me out of my mind (Breathe in, breathe out) Get me out of my mind (Let it go now) Get me out of my mind! (Breathe in, breathe out) I can't calm down now 'cause you told me to calm down Cause I overthink And I never blink And I'm forgetting how to breathe I can't calm down now 'cause you told me to calm down All that I can do is ride it I can't calm down now 'cause you told me to calm down Cause I over-blink And I never think And I'm forgetting how to breathe I can't calm down now 'cause you told me to calm down All that I can do is ride it out

about

Special thanks to Nick Zander, Jake Pachasa, Steve Warstler, Jacob W. Fowler, Tim Concannon, Freight Street, Chris & Penny Sitler, Terri & Dan Joyce, Steve & Chris Freed, Emily Halling, Javy and Sara Bojorquez, BGSU Roots Music Club, and to all our music teachers

credits

released September 27, 2023

Brain Weasels is Elai Rose and Joy Sitler
Acoustic Guitar and Vox by Elai Rose
String Bass, Vox, Ukulele, Electric Guitar, 12 String Acoustic Guitar, Accordion, Keys by Joy Sitler
Drums by Nick Zander
Additional Vox on Work in Progress by Jake Pachasa
Produced, Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered by Steve Warstler

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Brain Weasels Bowling Green, Ohio

Queer acoustic pop-punk duo from Bowling Green, Ohio

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